I used to be the kind of American who loved a quick New York-style meeting. Walk in, fast intros, distill overlaps, debate for a few minutes, then leave before the latte cools. Limited small talk or pleasantries, just cut to the chase and done.
Then London happened. Fifteen years of pastry breaks and digressions. Meetings here sprawl. Lunch slides into coffee, coffee slides into “just one pint,” and suddenly you’re discussing AI ethics over sticky toffee pudding. It’s about the long game… relationship first, deal second. I got used to breathing room.
Fast-forward to last month in San Diego. I had time between meetings and reached out to someone interesting. No real agenda, just being “friendly”. The guy said “Swing by, I have 15.” I pictured sunshine, tacos, maybe a stroll. Nope… stopwatch on, espresso already half-gone, eye contact set to “prove it.”
Old me would’ve loved the speed. New me tried small talk… a joke about jet lag (not even a chuckle). My sprint reflex was dull. I was running in flip-flops, while this guy slept in a hypobaric chamber (1).
Twelve minutes in, I realized my error and made it clear that I had more to offer him than vice versa. He granted overtime, and at 29 minutes walked out saying he’d see me next time in London (eg he’d love some of my contacts).
Walking out, I wondered, “Did Europe make me soft”?
I texted my friend Jordan about this ‘hardcore’ guy. He had a simple reply:
Not only do I love tea and cakes, I actually write about the glory of a 3-hour conversation. What have I become!?!
I’ve become someone who values relationships, and broadly that’s a good thing. Europe helped me build a different muscle group. Long talks build depth, while short ones force precision. Focus on deadlifts and you’ll struggle with sprints.
The workaround is cross-training. I’ll schedule more time-limited conversations to stay sharp, and continue my marathons to stay human. I’ll use AI to help draft a “power paragraph” – one breath, all value. I’ll relive my debate days by writing five potential objections and a one-line reply for each.
Gear-shifting matters as well. Being able to read the room is a superpower. My goal for the year is to become fluent in identifying both dialects and quickly adapt their cadences – a true dual mastery.
Sprint when the bell rings, stroll when the sun’s out. Come across a stopwatch mentality, then start fast and earn the extension. Or spot pastries and throttle down, then push for a takeaway. Because business (and life) isn’t one speed fits all; it’s the playlist you shuffle on purpose.
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(1) what marathon runners use to mimic high altitude to increase red blood cell production
